How Long Should a Man Last in Bed?

 What’s the Average Duration?

Researchers at Penn State Erie—Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani—surveyed dozens of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists to figure out what they considered a normal, healthy duration for penetrative sex.

The therapists, who collectively have decades of experience working with thousands of couples, gave some clear numbers:

• Too short: 1–2 minutes
• Adequate: 3–7 minutes
• Desirable: 7–13 minutes
• Too long: 10–30 minutes

Yep, you read that right. According to professionals who’ve helped countless people with sexual issues, anything between 3 and 13 minutes is perfectly normal—and even desirable.

So where did we get the idea that sex needs to last 30, 60, or even 90 minutes to be satisfying? According to the researchers, it comes down to unrealistic cultural messaging. We've been fed a fantasy: larger-than-life penises, hour-long thrust-a-thons, and magical orgasms on cue. No wonder so many people are feeling insecure about their sex lives.

The Stopwatch Study

But what happens when we stop asking experts and actually time the thing?

One fascinating international study did exactly that. Researchers studying premature ejaculation got 500 heterosexual couples from the U.S., UK, Turkey, Spain, and the Netherlands to use stopwatches—yes, literal timers—to track how long their sexual encounters lasted.

The rules were simple:
Start the timer when penetration begins.
Stop it when the man ejaculates.

Romantic? Maybe not. Enlightening? Absolutely.

After four weeks of stopwatch sex and diary entries, the researchers gathered the data and crunched the numbers.

The result?

• The median time to ejaculation was 6 minutes.
• Most men lasted between 4 and 11 minutes.
• Anything beyond 21 minutes was considered an outlier.
• And the shortest recorded session? Just 6 seconds (bless them).

Now here’s where it gets really interesting: men consistently overestimated how long they were lasting. On average, they thought they went about 1.9 minutes longer than they actually did—a 31% overestimation.

That’s not vanity—it’s psychology. Most of us aren’t great at accurately measuring time when we’re in the middle of something intense. But it also speaks to how warped our expectations have become. When you think you’re supposed to go for 30 minutes, 6 can feel “not enough,” even when it’s completely normal.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, there’s no perfect number when it comes to how long a man should last in bed. It’s not about reaching a specific minute mark—it’s about connection, satisfaction, and enjoyment.

So instead of stressing over endurance, focus on what truly matters: intimacy, mutual pleasure, and communication. Because when you’re both fully present in the moment, the clock stops mattering, and the experience becomes something far more meaningful.

Source References

Olson, R. S. (2016, May 31). How long does the average man last in bed?

Penn State University. (2008, March 31). Good sexual intercourse lasts minutes, not hours, therapists say.